0129

The Wakeful Imp has struck again and here I am once more.  Daisy hasn't moved from her chair, so it's the vet for her.  The minute I get down here I light a fag and check for emails - that's very sad.  Only then do I make myself a drink.  I wonder why I always wake at about 0115 - maybe the drugs have worn off enough for the Imp to break through.  I feel awake and raring to go, but won't do anything that makes me feel high, like tidying my study.  I do that when I'm manic, which is one way my friends can tell I'm getting ill.  I think HT are right, however - this feeling is a reaction to being so depressed.  My flying thoughts are fast because of the contrast with my depressed thoughts, which were so slow.  This alert feeling is just normality - at least that's what I am telling myself.

My hands aren't too bad, but then I did smother them in cream before I went to sleep.  I despair of ever wearing my signet ring again, as my left little finger is badly hit.

A friend of mine has sent me a copy of the House of Lords Hansard which discusses mental health.  The motion to Take Note was tabled by Lord Layard, a Labour peer with a special interest in mental health issues.  I'll précis it when I've read it - it's a lot of pages to digest.

Now having a hot milk and then I'll read a bit of Hansard - that should send me to sleep.