I had 8 hours' sleep, despite being awake in the night. Complete bliss. Those of you who sleep easily have no idea what insomnia is like, and to get 8 hours after all the sleeplessness is wonderful. I still don't feel like myself but a good night reminds me that it might be possible to become whole again, and I haven't thought that for weeks. If I can get the same tonight I'll be on the mend, slowly but surely.
Usual morning routine -- put on glasses, take pills, grab mobile phone and watch, come downstairs, open blinds and check emails. Coffee and fags. Feed cats. More coffee and fags. Try to start the day. Routine helps a bit, I find. It's safe and familiar. It takes no effort and I just do things automatically which means less stress. I had one small, minuscule Ariadne's thread this morning - just one - but it was there, I'm sure it was there. So maybe there is hope.
I'm going on a trip out today, with HT. I must have a shower and wash my hair - at the moment, my hair is of the elderly hedgehog variety. Maybe it won't be such an effort now? I mustn't be too optimistic in case it all goes snafu, but I have hopes that it might be the start of the beginning of the end.
I spent 16 years in the RAF defending the Free World , then got bunged out unceremoniously for being bipolar. I and was subsequently diagnosed with PTSD. Funny old world, isn't it?