Had about 4 hours, I suppose, and I'm up again. That's 6 in total, which isn't enough for me - I usually sleep for 9 or 10 hours. My sleep has really suffered during this episode and when I'm well, I shall have to catch up. The brain is a curious thing - when I'm well, 100mg quetiapine keeps me asleep for 9 hours; when I'm ill, 350mg doesn't touch me. So what's happening chemically to my brain cells? I don't believe anyone really knows. Psychiatrists treat the symptoms, not the cause, and I think that's a matter of trial and error anyway. It took 20 years to get my drug regime right, and I think the only reason I'm on what I'm on is because everything else had failed. Luckily, the combination I'm on now works - or does it? After all, I've just had another episode.
HT are going to phone this morning, and I shall have to report a poor night's sleep. I'll also have to say that I am a bit buzzy - in the past I would have hidden it so I could enjoy the high, but not now. It's too destructive. So I'd better come clean whilst I still have insight - I lose that quite quickly. I haven't had the visual disturbances that I get when I'm high, but I still have voices. No suicidal thoughts at this stage. Off to have a bagel. Comments are closed.
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AuthorI spent 16 years in the RAF defending the Free World , then got bunged out unceremoniously for being bipolar. I and was subsequently diagnosed with PTSD. Funny old world, isn't it? Archives
August 2015
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