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Grounding

7/10/2013

 
Now I'm exhausted - flashbacks are not good.  Went outside and got some fresh air, and washed my face in cold water.  I feel drained now.  My thoughts are of punishment for my life's sins - but HT reminded me that they are only thoughts, not facts.  I'm trapped in this mood - but I must remember that I had almost no sleep, so things will appear worse than they are.  I wish I could stop it all.  Everything's wrong today - even my skin feels as though it doesn't fit properly.

Why are thoughts so powerful?  I've often wondered.  I suppose it's because they come from one's mind, and hence are an integral part of oneself.  It's so difficult to be mindful when they are so intrusive, but I must try - notice the thought and let it go.  I notice it, but it's hard to let it go.  Perhaps if I visualise it floating away on a bubble of soap it might do the trick.  

Even my writing is all wrong today - sorry to those who read this.  I'm going to have a nap and will write more later

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    I spent 16 years in the RAF defending the Free World , then got bunged out unceremoniously for being bipolar.  I and was subsequently diagnosed with PTSD.   Funny old world, isn't it?

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