Lorazepam and Soda

Well, I"ve taken my lorazepam with a glass of soda water, to make it feel like cocktail time.  Kate and Preller have just been on FaceTime with me, which was nice - they're having curry tonight, lucky buggers  Mind you, I'm still full up with burger. I shall have soup later if I'm hungry, which I probably won't be, but I must eat something, I suppose.  I haven't done the washing, so I'm beating myself up, but I fell asleep on the sofa and I can't be arsed to do it now.  I shall take it by surprise tomorrow.

Time and noise are going hand in hand.  When I'm manic, I love noise - loud music, people in the house and so on.  Now, of course, it's the opposite.  I have an exquisite sensitivity to sounds.  That's a bit wearing as my voices and the thoughts enjoy silence - they seem louder because there's no distraction.  I might try the news later.  I can watch TV in bed, for some reason, but it's not so good down here.  I think that's because TV in bed means that I might get some sleep - I put it on the timer so it plays gently in the background and switches itself off.

I'm tired again -- a sort of global fatigue that goes beyond mere sleepiness.  It's as though I've lost the gene for energy and motivation, and I can't remember what it's like to experience them.  Consequently I find it difficult to do ordinary things (like the washing) although I'm getting better at the dishwasher.

I'm off to watch TV - will it be OK?  I'll blog la