I've just managed to wake up when I thought I'd have a good sleep as I was tired. So it's coffee and fag time - but with a difference! I'm now on e cigarettes and I haven't had a proper fag since last Tuesday week, which is eleven days. It's been difficult, because there's a sense of loss, although I'm not sure why as I'm getting smoke and nicotine. So far so good.
I've just returned from 6 days in the Outer Hebrides, staying with my dear friend J. I had the most wonderful time there - saw lots of birds, including both male and female hen harriers. We had some fantastic meals and some good wines - went again to Harris for langoustine and had a steak the size of a plate. It was fabulous.
I didn't sleep for more than 4 hours the night before last - I was up at 0200 and busy from then on. I sorted out 300 plus CDs and put them onto my iPod, which took a long time, and divided the CDs into heaps; one for me (but only a few), one classical and one everything else. Some friends have chosen ones that they like and I'll put the rest on Music Magpie. Then I started on the larder, which is still ongoing. I've got a new fridge, which is much better than the old one in that it has a large freezer, and I've stocked it up with goodies.
Going back to fags, I'm firmly committed to my e cigarette; I use it all the time. In fact I had to buy extra batteries as they were being used up too quickly! The e fag I've got seems to be expensive to run, but it's much much cheaper than smoking. Can't quite believe I've managed so far!
The kitchen table is VERY full of tins and jars, so I'll have a go at that then go back to bed.
Yet ANOTHER night when I am very tired but can't get to sleep. Coffee/fags are once again the order of the day. I had three meetings today, all of which I enjoyed, and all to do with mental health. Came back here to lots of phone calls, FaceTimed someone and then went to watch TV in bed. I took my pills and drifted gently. Bang. Wide awake.
I went to the doc about my shoulders. She's referred me to the shoulder surgeon and put me on tramadol, which doesn't seem to work! It's not nearly as good as the dihydrocodeine I was taking before, even though it's supposed to be much stronger, so I've gone back on the codeine. I can feel a shoulder replacement coming on, which would be a bugger - my knee replacement didn't work very well. I imagine the surgeon will do an arthroscopy first, which may give me some relief, but they're painful too. Hey Ho.
I've got to take my identification documents to Yeovil to be certified at some stage, and I don't know Yeovil at all - I've lived here 17 years, Yeovil is 12 miles away and I've never been to the centre of the town. Ridiculous. I shall get lost.
Had a busy week last week, both at meetings and socially. I played a bit of poker, but lost a tenner, so I vowed to get even. However, we didn't play again! I shall save up my wrath for the next game. Friends say I should play bridge as I like cards, but I don't think so. Apparently two clubs means something else entirely.
I might have something to eat - all I have had is a piece of toast and a sandwich. Then I'll try to go to sleep.
I think I've managed to get the time right tonight! What a twat. Fortunately, I managed to get to sleep last time, despite the industrial quantities of coffee I'd imbibed. Not sleeping tonight, however, so it's back on the fags and the Irn Bru. I rediscovered my taste for the latter when I was in Scotland last time.
I seem to be OK despite the reduction in my Abilify to 30mg - I'm going to ask for a meeting with my psychiatrist to see if I can reduce it further and maybe cut it out altogether. There are lots of scare stories on the Internet about coming off antipsychotics and all the effects that accompany that, so I'll do it gradually. What with that and the quetiapine, my attempts to lose weight are doomed, so if I can dump one drug, I might have more success.
Tomorrow I have a meeting and then I go to the Doc about my shoulders, in the hopes that she can do something - maybe change my pain relief. They stop me getting to sleep and then they wake me up, so something has to be done. I looked up shoulder replacement, and it seems horrendous, but the site was quite upbeat about it. Probably sponsored by the NHS touting for work. Anyway, a scar would ruin my tattoos.
I think I might try to get some sleep.
Joke's on me - it really WAS 2357! I mis read my watch. Sod it.
It's 0650 - although my computer thinks it's 2357 and I've no idea how to change that! Oh well. It's back on the fags and the high octane coffee and this blog. My shoulders woke me up, so it's arthritis one, Hannah nil. I'm going back to the doc next week to see if I really have to put up with the pain - maybe she'll give me stronger painkillers. Whoopee! Or maybe she'll suggest surgery. I have been completely put off orthopaedic surgery since I had a knee replacement that didn't really work, so I'm not sure about having a new shoulder.
I went to see a friend who's banged up at the moment in our local psych hospital. While I was there I saw another friend who's a nurse - always a pleasure! We worked together on another unit. The sun was out so we all sat in the garden and exchanged ciggies. I'll go back again.
Out to lunch tomorrow with a friend - we're going to the local pub, which is about 10 yards away. I was so ill when I moved in here that I didn't realise it was a pub! Nobody believes me.
I have to fill in a CRB check form - I can't remember the new name for it - but you have to take three pieces of identification to the Post Office for them to run a bar coder over the accompanying letter and send off the results. I tried three Post Offices and none of them actually had that service. So I'm stuffed as I can't think of any more Post Offices!
The cat has caught a mouse and it's run under the cupboard - the cat is now sitting there and won't be budged. The other two are out, presumably hunting. And I'm going back to bed for an hour!
I spent 16 years in the RAF defending the Free World , then got bunged out unceremoniously for being bipolar. I and was subsequently diagnosed with PTSD. Funny old world, isn't it?