One of the many side effects of quetiapine is restless leg syndrome - it feels as though ants are crawling under your skin, and that the nerve endings are exposed. The legs twitch and jump, as though the reflexes are being tapped by a doctor. Nothing helps, except tramadol, and I've run out of my illegal supply of that. It's almost impossible to relax enough to go to sleep, as one jerks about under the duvet, like a puppet on strings. I asked the doctor if there was anything I could take for it, but the only (legal) drug is banned to those with bipolar disorder. As, incidentally, are all the anti smoking tablets. Not that I want to give up, but if I did, I'd have liked some chemical help.
I wish I could drink alcohol to get to sleep - actually, I wish I could drink alcohol, period. The Abilify makes alcohol taste funny and I've completely lost the urge, despite a lifetime's history of boozing. I drank when I was manic, and I drank when I was depressed, in both cases to try to regulate my mood. That sounds as though it was a conscious thing - it wasn't, but I just knew it helped. Many, many bipolar sufferers do the same, the problem being that it muddies the waters for clinicians - who often see alcohol as a cause rather than a symptom. The same thing happens with dope - it can produce a psychotic episode, and the sufferer gets diagnosed with schizophrenia, instead of cannabis related psychosis, which can result in a lifetime of psychiatric drugs and a terrible label. The last time I had a puff, about 6 years ago, I became totally paranoid, so I don't touch it now - lying awake all night waiting to be burgled is not a good thing to do. So - no alcohol, no weed, no sex (no libido on antipsychotics, not that I care), and only the fags for company. I rather believe that the sum of one's vices is a constant, so when I gave up all those things, my smoking increased accordingly. 40% of smokers are psychiatric patients - we poor bastards need something to get us through the days, and smoking seems to help.
I must try to get some sleep, so goodnight to all of you - sleep tight.
I spent 16 years in the RAF defending the Free World , then got bunged out unceremoniously for being bipolar. I and was subsequently diagnosed with PTSD. Funny old world, isn't it?