My Aunt has just chastised me, quite rightly, for not putting anything positive in this blog. I don't feel positive though, and it's difficult to connect with my real life when I'm depressed. However, I'll have a go.
When I'm well, life is fun and rewarding. I have a wide circle of friends and relatives and they are a great support to me. Kate, Jacqui and I usually have a curry once a week, and we meet up a lot as neither of them is working at the moment. Friends call in and I call on friends. I love playing poker for real money with Nick and Erle. I love my cats and I love driving my car. I love birdwatching, and until my shoulders went, I loved fly fishing. I get a great deal of satisfaction from chairing the Mental Health Forum. I read avidly and listen to classical music. Most of all, I have long periods when I'm not ill.
There you go - I'm sure there must be more, but that's enough for now. It hurt to write all those things down, because I have none of them at the moment and can't see my way to doing them again. But I know I will, it's just a matter of time and sleep. I wish I could be optimistic about the future, but I can't.
I spent 16 years in the RAF defending the Free World , then got bunged out unceremoniously for being bipolar. I and was subsequently diagnosed with PTSD. Funny old world, isn't it?