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16/10/2014

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I was feeling too ill to blog yesterday, and I didn't sleep well, which compounded the issue.  Today, however, I have felt a bit better although I'm awake now having had a nightmare.  I get them when I'm ill - all about dead bodies and corruption.  I don't understand the brain - I never have these dreams when I'm well, so why now?  I suppose it has to do with the mineshaft and access to bad memories.

The nurse tried to get blood from me again - the veins in my arm don't seem to exist, so no success there.  I used to be a blood donor but gave it up because it started to hurt and they couldn't find veins.  And, of course, my blood is full of drugs.  My hands have started to itch and swell again, because of the increased quetiapine, so the Home Treatment team are picking me up some eumovate tomorrow.

I think I can see a faint light at the end of the tunnel, although mornings are still pretty dire.  I managed to have a shower and wash my hair, which although it was a major effort, made me feel slightly better.  Tomorrow the team are coming at 1100 so I shall have to try to concentrate, which I can't do in the early mornings.

Still on the e cig - nearly seven weeks of not smoking.



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    I spent 16 years in the RAF defending the Free World , then got bunged out unceremoniously for being bipolar.  I and was subsequently diagnosed with PTSD.   Funny old world, isn't it?

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