Up Again

Well, I went back to bed and here I am again at 0450, full of beans and wide awake.  I'm not sure what I have to do to get some sleep - however, I seem to be OK during the day, so maybe I don't need it.  Perhaps I have to adjust my view about sleep - I used to get 10 hours a night and be hungover in the mornings - that was on 100mg quetiapine.  Now I'm on 350mg and nitrazepam and I can't sleep through the night without waking at least twice.  At least tonight I haven't had that sinking feeling that I got when I was depressed - that terrible loneliness and feeling of panic.

It's fags and coffee again - Lucien and Daisy have been fed and Arthur's asleep on the bed.  I wish I had a cat's capacity to sleep for 18 hours a day.  My right hand itched in bed and I've scratched it, but it's not too bad.  Today a friend comes round to help me tidy up, so I'm looking forward to that.  At some stage I must get a haircut - I look quite wild.  I have grown it a bit - I've now got quite a fringe - I used to have it really short, but now I'm fat, I can't wear it like that any more.  I no longer have that elfin look - more a gnome look.

More coffee calls.